Anxiety, Blog, Gardening, Mental Health, New Life, Plants

Innards on The Laminate Floor.

Blog 4

Monday 21st October 2019 (10 days til Samhain – Halloween)

One of my baby Spider Plants just hit the deck, hard. My fault? Yes, it was. I was mid flap (fluster) when I wheeled my boho blanket covered black faux leather office chair over to a small book shelf. I was trying to tidy up for a stream I was planning. My very first stream, might I add. So, of course my good pal Anxiety was rearing her uninvited head. Forcing me to fuss with this, mess with that, fluff up with the other; slowly increasing the franticness’ of my actions until the inevitable happened. I made a clumsy. In almost slow motion fashion I simultaneously pick up my empowerment stone from therapy and thwack the poor innocent, slumbering baby Spider Plant to her cold laminate floored doom. I watch her as she falls, not realising the full impact of what I had done. She smashed into the floor, her innards spilling everywhere revealing the glossy pearlescence of her intricate root system.

I jumped out of the aforementioned office chair and immediately go to her aid. I gently picked her up by her exposed roots and placed her onto the dish where her pot had sat. As she laid there slight dazed and extremely confused, I turned to my task, looking down at the newly formed soil rug. It had found its merry way into a dizzying array of places. Under my bed, on my books, in my croc’s (don’t judge me), in a bag and of course all over my vile laminate flooring. Probably an improvement to be fair.

I contemplate the issues one would face in daily life if there was a pile of soil at the side one’s bed. I concluded that a clean-up was needed and continued with my self-generated chore. I put as much of the soil back into her small pot as I could, finally giving up through fear of cat hair finding its way in. I grabbed the little one and we headed downstairs in search of more cleaner soil. I found some in the shed outside; drizzling wet weather, of course. I ran back into the kitchen and began the re-potting process. By the time I was finished she was sitting snugly in her pot, fresh dirt and feeling pretty.

She is languishing in her preferred spot now and I am knackered. I haven’t even started my stream yet! This is another new thing I am starting. I’m a gamer, if you didn’t know. And of course you wouldn’t, as I haven’t ever mentioned it. But, I am and I actually have a new channel on YouTube. Which has been another blessing and a curse. I love to do it, I look at it as a diary of my favourite moments in my gaming life. I get to look back at things and not lose them to my over saturated memory.

It has also opened me up to the gaming community on social media, which has been absolutely incredible! I isolate myself quite a lot, as you know, as I HAVE mentioned that before. So, this has given me a connection to something, to some one, to a group of people. I bounce ideas with them, they support me and I support them. It’s a real positive in my life and I am petrified I will lose it all. My usual insecurities and anxieties rule my head, what if they don’t like me? What if my content is crap? I don’t have the right equipment, so my work looks awful. All these thoughts and more can cloud me until I completely forget why I started it in the first place; to have fun, to meet some new friends and to keep a diary.

This post hasn’t been as depressing as my others… so a joke may not be needed here. Instead I will leaf* you with a pun instead:

 Why do plants go to therapy?

To get to the root of their problems!

Anyway, that’s me and now I am going to try and stream some game play. Wish me luck blog! xxx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.